Speedster Rankings:

The following is a list of speedsters in comics ranked from 1 till I get tired of thinking up of more speedsters. The rules are simple. Primary powers must be super-speed. This means all multi-powered supermen can just bugger off. This isn’t for you, you glory hogging moppets. This list is not comprehensive nor will it attempt to be fair. I might get something a bit twisted in your estimation. This is my personal opinion and mine alone. If you disagree, write your own damn list. If you agree, you are an enlightened individual and we should share a beer sometime.  

1. Wally West – Flash (Post Infinite Crisis): After Barry sacrificed himself to save the multiverse from the Anti-Monitor, Kid Flash had some big shoes to fill. He was young, brash, and was a bit of a bell-end. This was most likely to cover up his feelings of inadequately having been promoted to the big leagues so unceremoniously. He had a heart of gold, always putting others before himself… even the villains he fought. He inherited the colorful rogue gallery from his predecessor, but dealt with them all . He may have had greater access and control of the Speedforce than he ever let on, allowing him to save the world multiple times. It was under Wally a true speedster family was born.

2. Jay Garrick – Flash (Earth 2 – New 52/DCYou) Jay was just your average kid getting ready to go off to college when tragedy struck. Hermes, messenger of the gods was cast to earth with dire warning. Darkseid was not dead. Apokolips would return. The cause in which the greatest heroes earth had sacrificed their lives for was about to be undone. He gained the powers of a god and was soon befriended by Hawk Girl. Together with Allen Scott (Green Lantern) and Dr. Fate they fight (and loose) the battle against Apokolips. His naivety is what endears him to me. His tenacity is what makes him so heroic. He literally pushes the incarnation of Death into eternity. Plus his outfit is keen.

3. Stanley Stewart – Atlanta Blur (Earth – 31916) A member of Squadron Supreme and all around cool guy, Atlanta Blur was Bendis’ attempt to add some diversity to the Ultimate Power version of Squadron Supreme. He was of course killed off earlier this summer by his alternate reality counterpart from Earth-712 in Secret Wars. Still my favorite Marvel speedster.

4. Robert Frank – Whizzer (Earth – 616) Arguably the fastest man in the Marvel mainstream universe, when he was young, but now his golden age antics seem less impressive. He could never run over a 100 mph. He was on the “All-Winners Squad” (yes, that is a super hero group), Liberty Legion, and the Avengers. He maybe older than Cap, but he still will go toe to toe with Nazis when called upon.

5. Pietro Maximoff – Quicksilver (Earth – 1610) The Ultimate Quicksilver. He’s Magneto’s kid. He and his sister Wanda have a weird, incestuous, twin thing going on. He is more brass tacks and business like than his mainstream counterpart. He really spends most of his life on the right side of SHIELD than with the Brotherhood.

6. Pietro Maximoff – Quicksilver (Earth – 616) Quicksilver is currently the fastest being in the Marvel universe. He was retconned out of the top 5 since he is no longer considered a mutant, but a normal human who was experimented on by the High-Evolutionary. He can reach speeds over Mach 10 and can do it while making snide remarks and messing around with peoples wallets. A bit crazy.

7. Wally West – Kid Flash (Earth – 16) Known to most as the Young Justice Kid Flash. Like his New Earth counterpart he was probably the slowest of the Flashes, but rarely pushed himself beyond the call of duty. He has a kid and tries to become more father-like by hanging up the suit. He was more cynical and emo than he counterpart, yet he did end up making the ultimate sacrifice by running himself out of existence to save the world. Good lad, good lad.

8. Barry Allen – Flash (Rebirth/New 52/DCYou) Silver Age Flash. After Final Crisis we, the comic community, got Barry Allen back. I don’t ever remember asking for him, but sometimes you get surprised. I did. I was not a big Flash fan before Infinite Crisis. He was, well, kinda boring. He was a detective of sorts, working the crime lab and using his amazing mind to help solve crimes. Yeah whatever - Nobody cares about that. Why did he need a cover story? Iris got in trouble all the time anyway. But, he is the Flash that made the Flash what he is today. He is arguably the fastest of the speedsters, but Bart Allen might have a few things to say about that. He almost ignores Jay Garrick, his predecessor, who seems to be whiling away in retirement until called upon. Still, he’s saved the Multiverse more times than any other Flash, so here’s to you Barry.

9. Jay Garrick – Flash (Pre-Crisis of Infinite Earths) Golden Age Flash. You don’t get more Old School than this guy. He’s the guy that can’t stay retired. He always has to pick up after the kids screwing everything up nowadays. Thing is… he is so agreeable he doesn’t come off as curmudgeonly. He’s a hero for a nobler time.

10. Bart Allen – Kid Flash/Impulse (Post Infinite Crisis – Rebirth) Bart is a little shit. An amazing, crazy-metabolism-having, time altering, little shit. Impulse was a two year old in a twelve-year-old's body until Wally West managed to make it normal by running with him around the planet. He is cocky beyond words, but in Final Crisis helps Wally and Jay by pushing Super(boy) Prime into the speedforce.

11. Bart Allen – Kid Flash (New 52/DCYou) This version of Bart is not a little shit. Nor is he anything special.

12. Wally West – Kid Flash (New 52/DCYou) Fuck this bullshit.